[OPINION] Go Ahead, Ban Phones in School, I Dare Ya

You know, it’s amazing that any child in American history has grown up at all. Let alone escape childhood with their brains not scrambled to nothingness.

Comic books, Elvis, heavy metal music, rap music, pinball machines, AOL Instant Messanger, novels. All those things have been blamed for the ruination of America’s kids.

Now in the 2020s, there is a new evil in town. An evil so insidious that wannabe do-gooders across the nation are calling for its banishment. It is being blamed for all the failings in America, especially in education.

The new evil: phones.

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That's right! We are told that phones are causing the crumbling of America’s public education system. Their mere existence has frightened the best thinkers in government and education today. And these well-intentioned people, I’ll assume, are calling for banning phones in schools.

To that, I say: Go ahead, ban phones in school, I dare ya.

I had held out hope that Gen X’ers and Millenials would learn from our own history of grown-ups hating the things we do, but so far some of us are acting like classic pearl-clutching whiners.

First, has banning anything ever worked? Has it ever helped? From botany to beer, the last 150 years have been a showcase for the futility of prohibition.

It doesn’t work. The outcome crusaders want and what actually happens are two very different things. Every time. Just ask Al Capone. Well, I guess banning beer was a good thing for him. And this time is NOT any different. This 'evil' is no more a threat than Twisted Sister was.

But the larger point is, go ahead and ban phones, you will make the entire school day about phones. Every day, all day. No more schoolwork. No more cramming for those precious tests. Just treating every student like a criminal.

You think the learning day gets derailed by phones now? Wait until the teacher’s ENTIRE job becomes policing phones. All day, every day. It’s all they will be doing. It will consume everything. As bans so often do.

And the school office staff. Oh man, I feel sorry for these folks. It will be a tornado of chaos from the endless punishment of students to the torrent of parents.

Can you just imagine how much the school’s landlines will be blowing up? People calling all day trying to get to their kids.

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If phones are banned, that means for your kids too, ya know.

Speaking of enforcement. I think that in their anti-phone zeal, people forget that the policies they call for will affect everyone. Including them.

Phones would be banned every day, for everyone. Banned when it’s snowing, banned during tornado season, banned when a student doesn’t feel well or is having a family crisis.

Banned for athletes too, even on game days. Even if they are the best team in the state. Banned for the star students as well as those struggling. Banned, no matter your last name or family income.

Will they be banned from after-school activities? On busses? On band trips? In locker rooms? Will teachers have their phones? The office staff? The janitor? Would I have to surrender my phone if I came to talk to a teacher? What will the school do with people’s personal property?

This is another core problem with prohibition, it is impossible to consistently and fairly enforce it. That leads to enforcement that favors those in positions of privilege.

The entire school day will be about phone enforcement. There'll be more useless assemblies to tell the kids how ungrateful and dumb they are, more threats of searches and theft, and more and more student VS adult resentment.

The kids in school today were all born this century. They have lived their entire lives with mobile devices. And these kids’ parents have never been disconnected from their kids like it was in the 80s. Do you actually think that parents today would be willing to give up that connection to their children? I won't.

The phone is my property and I want my kids to have it with them, always. And don’t you dare take it. My phone is as important in my everyday carry as my wallet. I don’t go anywhere without my phone, and I raise my kids that way.

Plus, KIDS ARE LOOKING AT SCREENS ALL DAY AT SCHOOL ANYWAYS! They use computers. All day, every day. And that’s a good thing. Our world is online and students need to use and be familiar with the tools of today.

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And if you think ingenious American students are not going to find ways to stay connected to each other and get online by using other means, you’re fooling yourself.

Trying to forbid a common day-to-day item is a fool's errand. Phones are tools, students need to have the basics of phone etiquette reinforced at school. Not be forced into a fantasy world built by people who probably organized this entire movement on their phones.

Getty/Thinkstock/Canva[/caption]I believe that these movements to ban phones come from some parents' embarrassment at their own phone addictions. The people I see hypnotized by their devices are always adults.

There is no phone crisis with America’s youth. There are several very serious problems with our educational system. Real issues we need to focus on. Teaching techniques that need to evolve. Is memorizing facts and testing even useful in a world where everyone has instant access to almost all information? Media literacy and critical thinking are far more important than trying to pretend it's 1993 again.

Playing around with the 'evil' phone is a distraction from raising the next generation of Americans.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ben Kuhns is just some guy on the internet. He is a wannabe writer whose wife thinks he is funny. He writes for Results-Townsquare Media in Sioux Falls South Dakota.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Results Townsquare Media, its staff, contributors, affiliates, or advertisers.