We Can Do Better Than Kit Kat Thins

Kit Kat is the best candy bar in the world. And while that's not an objective statement, saying that the newest Kit Kat is a mistake is not.

Hershey, which owns the US license for the Kit Kat brand, unveiled a new version of the originally British candy bar, but it's not an improvement. It's just a different version of a  smaller Kit Kat.

Kit Kat Thins, which will be released in February, are bite-sized Kats that have only two layers of wafer instead of the customary three layers. That's it. One less layer of wafer. Otherwise, they are pretty much the same thing.

Who the hell wants Kit Kat to go on a diet?

Until a few years ago I likely would have had no opinion on this release. Kit Kats were pretty much all the same, it was just a matter of whether it was a one-stick or two-stick snack size, or the original four-stick. But then in 2016, the Big Kat was introduced in the States. (It had been out since 1999 in the U.K. as the "Chunky.")

A Big Kat is really just that, a single oversized stick of Kit Kat. I cannot confirm that the ratio of chocolate and wafer is different because of its size, but the amount of chocolate and wafer in your mouth is far greater and, obviously, better.

If you think I'm lobbying for bigger because bigger is better, no I am not. The King Size Big Kat is just too much. I ate one once. It was too much of a great thing. Sure, I could have saved the second stick for later, but I would have forgotten about it, and wasting half of a King Size Big Kit Kat is not something I can let happen in the world.

I would implore Hershey, and Nestle over across the pond, to make a fun-size Big Kat. It would be bigger and infinitely more satisfying than a fun-size Snickers, but more snack-sized than the original Big Kat.

The most egregious of the new Kit Kat Thins is that they have screwed with the chocolate to wafer ratio. That's a fragile balance. Too much chocolate and you've got the candy bar equivalent of your sloppy drunk sister-in-law you're forced to hang out with to see your brother. too much wafer and you might as well have those stupid Sugar Wafers.

Hershey, please, start individually wrapping third-sized Big Kats and put a pile of them in a bag. And since they are short and wide, just call the Husky Kats.