Hi, Ben here, and I’m on a mission to not be fat when I‘m 42. To do that I’ve partnered with Profile by Sanford and I want to take you with me on my journey.

At my last meeting with my Profile coach, she asked me if I've noticed a change in my relationship with food. It got me thinking. I know that last year before I came into Profile I had a horrible relationship with food. It controlled me, taunted me, beat me up and made me feel like junk at the end of the day. It did it in such a way that I seemed to want more of that treatment the next morning.

Basically I did not know how to eat. I can't blame my parents. I was raised in a well-balance meal household. I had fruit and vegetables everyday and pop only on special occasions. Between the time I left home and the time my body decided to act like it was 40 (because it was) I forgot how to eat like a someone not preparing for a long Viking voyage to the New World. Yea, my Viking ancestors had to eat 5000 calories at a feast because they would not eat anything but jerky and hardtack for six weeks, and they'd burn that stuff off doing sailboat things. I however, did not need 5000 calories at once, ever. Especially not nearly everyday while I conquered the seas of the internet in a climate controlled office. I had to relearn to eat.

That's the core of the lifestyle change I've achieved with Profile. Yes, I've lost weight, but that weight would be waiting to return if I hadn't worked on changed my relationship with food. I do not to eat just because food is available. That has been the biggest concept to change in my mind. Just because there are cookies in the breakroom or chips in the pantry, I don't have to eat them. I realized that I rarely, if ever, really wanted them. I'd just eat because I didn't want to miss out. As if those were the last cookies ever.

Getting better about that took a lot of talking and thinking. Not brooding, but self-reflective thinking. Talking about my issues and searching for solutions was not something that ever appealed to me. It took getting to such an unhealthy place to force me to swallow my pride and do it. Talking with my Profile coach was the breakthrough that I needed.

It was gradual. Each week meeting with my coach and talking about my progress. Discussing what worked and what problems I had. It forced me to pay attention to what I was doing each day, not just float through life. I came to see that on the program my body was getting everything it needed. As the weeks became months I began to notice that I wasn't missing the stuff I had to cut out. The jealousy I'd feel when the kids got french fries faded. That's the strength of the Profile way. Ketosis at the beginning to kick-start weightless, so the mental and emotional hurdles are easier to overcome because you have visible results.

At Christmas I didn't miss mashed potatoes. I knew that when I get to my final goal weight, I will also be in a mental place to enjoy a small amount of things like that and burn those calories without feeling like it's necessary for me to eat pounds and pounds of potatoes like the world was ending.

As spring began I was in a gas station getting a coffee (black) and gas, while in line I noticed a box of cookies near the register. They were on sale for a great price, and that's all I noted. When I got into my car it hit me that all my brain registered was that those cookies were for sale far below their regular price. I didn't want them. It wasn't even like I thought "Mmmmm cookies, but no I'm not eating cookies, darn." I didn't want them, I had no feelings for those cookies. I've been able to get my mind to a place where food is for eating at meal time. My body is getting everything that it needs, there's no reason to even entertain the thought of eating those cookies. Even at times when I, say, smell some nacho-cheese chips, I've realized that I'd have to talk myself into eating them, if i was going to eat them. And if I have to talk myself into doing it, there's no need to mess with it.

That's how much my relationship with food has changed. Like that time after a break-up when you can see that person, say hi, and move on with your day without pining or ill-will. Food is fuel for my body and I have months of hard data showing that my body runs far better if I put in the proper fuel. With the help of my coach I know I'm not missing out on anything. Reaching my goal of not being the fat guy is far more satisfying than any cookie or bag of chips will ever be.

Keep up with Ben's journey by bookmarking Ben's blog. Got a question or comment? Connect on Twitter or email at ben@hot1047.com.

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