One time when I was a kid we were visiting family and the adults wouldn't stop talking. So I looked up at and said, "Are we done leaving yet?" Of course the adults thought that was funny and the conversion lasted another 30 minutes.
Leaving a get-together should be simple. You say goodbye, walk to your car and head home. That's not how it works in the Midwest. Around here, announcing that you're leaving is less of a statement and more of the beginning of a long process.
The First Goodbye Is Just a Warning
Someone eventually says, "Well, we should probably get going."
But nobody actually moves.
Instead, the conversation somehow starts all over again. There are another few stories to tell, one more thing to mention and a discussion about what everyone is doing next weekend. The first goodbye simply lets everyone know that leaving may eventually happen.
Then Comes the Door Conversation
Eventually, coats are found and people make their way toward the door. This is where another round of conversation begins. You can spend ten minutes standing with one hand on the doorknob talking about something nobody mentioned during the previous three hours.
And naturally, the conversation gets interrupted when someone remembers something they absolutely forgot to tell you.
The Driveway Goodbye Is Mandatory
Finally, you're outside.
Surely this is the end.
Nope.
Now you're standing next to your car talking about the weather, work, someone's new project or how crazy it is that summer is already going by so fast. At this point, you've technically said goodbye several times, but nobody has actually left.
The Final Wave
Eventually, you make it into the driver's seat. You back out of the driveway, wave one more time and finally head home. Except there's a decent chance you'll pass someone else leaving and stop for one final conversation.
Is it inefficient? Absolutely.
Would a Midwest gathering feel right without at least three separate goodbyes? Probably not. Because around here, you don't simply leave. You slowly work your way toward leaving until everyone involved agrees you've officially earned the right to drive away.
