A thread on Reddit was all about insults that don't use any cuss words.

Sure, cussing makes us feel better sometimes, but telling someone off and keeping it clean, takes some creativity.

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This instantly made me think of that Orbit Gum commercial with a bunch of great one-liners. 'Lint licker', 'cootie queen', and 'what the French toast' are a few of my favorites.


As usual, we asked the people of the Sioux Empire what their favorites were and they did not disappoint.

  • I like telling people to go fall down
  • Cotton headed ninnymuggins from Elf
  • You are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine
  • When someone is being stupid/acting dumb, I ask them if their favorite color is clear.
  • "You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!" Thank you, Dodgeball. Lol
  • From 'Heavyweights when Ben Stiller tells the kid: "My grandma runs faster than you, and she only has one leg."
  • I sometimes tell people that it cost zero dollars to worry about yourself. They usually don't know what to say and walk away LOL
  • Bless your heart
  • I'd kick you but you're probably too stupid to feel pain... Used that one a few times
  • Is your nose on your face? ... keep it there!!
  • When someone is just dumb in my house we just say ...... you're pretty
  • I tell people to go touch grass when they have decided they're above everyone else
  • Just plain and simple tell people to "get bent"
  • Sugar Honey Iced Tea
  • They can suck an egg!
  • Scruffy looking nerf-herder

There ya go! A few new insults to add to your arsenal and they're all profanity-free!

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