If you are reading this, it is literally the least clickbaity title and blog post you will ever read. It's literally a play-by-play of the chaos in my house.

I'm sitting at my kitchen table this early Thursday evening trying to find something to post about on our website. Nothing seems interesting. Everything is digital noise. In my house is lots of actual noise. I complain out loud that I can't find anything to write about.

"Why don't you just write about all the noise in our house?" my smart wife suggests.

The blender fired up. My wife is making one of her spinach smoothies that look like one of the eight most disgusting recipes anyone has ever concocted, but she loves them. It has a fruity smell to it, after she adds frozen fruit and fresh blueberries to it, but prior to that, it has the color of fresh bright grass green horse droppings. Afterwards, it had a grape Kool-Aid color.

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From the basement, I can hear our out-of-tune piano being played fairly well by my burgeoning musician daughter. Occasionally I recognize a Taylor Swift tune I can't name. Then it will be the sound of her rehearsing a particular phrase of the right hand, trying to master it. Now she's literally going up the scale one note at a time until she runs out of keys.

"What the crap?" exclaims one of my sons in the living room. He and his brother are playing Fortnite with their friends online. They aren't the most couth youths in the world but they aren't dropping f-bombs, yet. The constant chatter is something I've never participated in playing video games. Being of the age when I was in my 30's when online gaming really proliferated, I'm completely uninterested.

"What's next," I'm wondering. As I look at the pretty yellow daisies I bought for my wife today, waiting for inspiration, my daughter stomps up the stairs and walks past me through the kitchen.

"Who farted?" she accuses.

"I did," I reply without any thought. "It was a good one."

"DUUUUUUDE!" my youngest yells from the living room. Something cool must have happened on Fortnite.

I can still smell the pizza we brought home for supper, probably emanating from three uneaten crusts my daughter left behind on a paper plate because she expected me to eat her leftover bones.

"NOOOOOOOO! I'm gonna throw chug splashes in the air," the older boy yells and declares.

Now random screaming noises are coming from the boys and simultaneously my daughter is now in her room tuning her guitar. After making the blinking device happy she tries to strum chords. She's better at it than the last time I heard her.

Now a friend of my wife has activated the Ring doorbell app on my phone. She comes up to the door to drop off something for a thing. I don't know what.

It's noisy in my house. But it beats the hell out of a lot of the noise outside my house, or on the Internet.

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