Lincoln Man Speaks in Defiance of ‘Boneless’ Chicken Wings

While COVID restrictions are a hot topic at city council meetings around the country, boneless chicken wings are a hot topic at only one city council meeting.

Ander Christensen, whose father is on the Lincoln, Nebraska city council, spoke passionately about the lie of boneless chicken wings at a recent meeting.

His speech is quite amusing.

"I propose that we as a city remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts. Number one, nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken. We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling their cuts of meats, but then we go around pretending as though the breast of a chicken is its wing? Number two: Boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless. I don't go to order boneless tacos. I don't go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don't ask for boneless auto repair. It's just what's expected."

I will order "boneless" chicken wings. In fact, I did last month while traveling. But I did it while also saying to my friend "Why are they calling chicken nuggets 'boneless wings?"

After bantering about that for a while I realized another thing this morning. When you order "wings" it often comes with an equal number of legs. Legs aren't wings. Why are these lies being forced upon us? Why haven't we stood up and said that this madness must stop?

Probably because no one gives a damn. Now I'm going to order some hot "wings and legs" for lunch.