Sometimes we must take a stand. We must raise the cream to the top of the crop..or something. Divide things into positive and negative. Pros and cons. Alpha and omega. Peas and carrots.

I give you Give Up/Keep Up: Thanksgiving Edition

Give Up

Thanksgiving Movies – Are there any? If so why?  Try this: family, turkey, together, overcoming difference - there you just watched all thanksgiving themed movies. Give it Up.


Stuffing – Oh can I please eat the bread soaked with the insides of a bird? Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten actual stuffing. Let’s just call it seasoned wet bread. Give it Up.

Cornucopia – Thanks for trying Cornucopia but I still don’t know what you are. If I ever need to hide from possessed dog-robot things I’ll call ya, otherwise give it up.




Leftover Leftover Jokes –“Yes Uncle Who Stopped Being Funny in 1997, there will be some leftovers. Yes we will be eating turkey for a few days, thanks for the update. Do you happen to have a political opinion or could you tell me how you are only renting that beer?” Give it Up.


Keep Up

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)


Turkey Chili – The only leftover that matters. The whole of Thanksgiving was created to lead up to making turkey chili on Saturday. Oh and giving thanks I guess we better say that. Keep it up.


Relish Tray – Hey relish tray, thanks for keeping the kids busy with your olives and dip and other stuff.  You will end the day a resting place for lonely celery, but before dinner you are the center of the universe. Keep it up.



Friends Thanksgiving Episodes –From Wonder Dog getting away to football, Brad Pit’s carb cravings and Ross getting tricked into all those things; the mood is set when your TV friends celebrate with you. Or when they are on in the background while passive-aggressive dinner conversation makes you miss the best part of that one episode. Keep it up.


Kevin Winter, Getty Images


Cherry/Pink Fluff – It’s no pudding or Jell-O. It could be a pie with no crust or an unbaked cake. Whatever it is and whatever is in it, it is dee-lish-us. There might be cherries in it...and fluff. Keep it up.

Thanks to Jordan Jessie Go! for inspiration.