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Woman Caught ‘Touching and Riding’ Manatee

Woman Rides Manatee
NBC News

Apparently, gettin’ down and dirty with animals is now a thing? Remember that extra horny dolphin who tried to get some action from the scuba diver? It’s the stuff of nightmares. Well folks, the roles have reversed, and mammal-loving horny people are making headlines! Actually, it’s just one strange lady from Pinellas, Florida, but she’s weirded things up for the rest of us.

Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez was reportedly “touching and riding a manatee in Fort De Soto Park” over the weekend. While her motives are entirely unknown, it’s a little tough to not think there was something sexually twisted going on here, what with the all the “touching and riding.” Did we mention Gutierrez was in a bikini when this whole thing went down? That’s right– beachgoers witnessed a bikini-clad 52-year-old flailing around in shallow waters, attempting to mount a manatee. Enjoy that image.

We’ll play devil’s advocate for a second here. All sorts of people have varying sexual fantasies and preferences, so if sea cows are your cup of tea, then hell, you do you, but it’s apparently illegal to disturb these big guys. Gutierrez was allegedly ignorant to the fact that humans can’t try to giddyup on the backs of wild animals, so as soon as she saw witness-snapped pictures of herself hit the internet, she turned herself in.

Gutierrez wasn’t charged for her actions, but she’s gained the awesome nickname, “The Manatee Mounter.”

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