Your day will likely never be as eventful as the afternoon had last week by Kai, a homeless hitchhiker in West Fresno, Calif. A large man gave Kai a ride on Friday. That's when the trouble started.

During the ride, the man told Kai he was Jesus Christ — because of course he did — and that he had to rid Earth of all black people, so he intentionally rammed a black utility worker with his car, pinning the man against his truck. The crazed driver then got out of his vehicle and attempted to further threaten the pinned utility worker. When two female bystanders tried to stop him, he lashed out at them. Enter Kai and his hatchet:

No, really. This happened. In America. Fox affiliate KMPH has the full story, which begs more questions than it provides answers because...

• Who still hitchhikes?
• Why did the man think he was Jesus?
• Hitting the guy with the car wasn't enough?
• What are aren't those women selling?
• A hatchet?

Kai's actions and his Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure-delivery of his memorable "Smash! Smash! Smaaash!" line probably gives him a permanent home in the Internet Hall of Fame. We're not sure if this makes us feel better or worse about hitchhiking or picking up hitchers, but it's an amazing, crazy story. Here's the full Fox report: