Justin Bieber’s Monkey Is Fine, But He Isn’t. And It’s All Selena Gomez’s Fault.
TMZ reports that Bieber’s been behaving badly because he’s miserable about his split from the ‘Spring Breakers’ starlet — and that she’s “torturing” him.
Gomez has been reportedly calling, texting and sending mixed messages to the troubled Canuck instead of making a clean break. (His broken heart and false hope may explain why he was spotted at her house recently — and also why he’s refused to badmouth her in the press, despite her numerous digs at him.)
Someone faring well in all this? Bieber’s quarantined monkey, Mally.
E! Online reports that the white-faced capuchin, who was placed in a quarantine in Germany when Bieber failed to present proper documentation, is doing just fine in a shelter.
PETA said that Mally is in “excellent hands and in a safe place, and will be integrated with other monkeys so that he can receive the social interaction vital to his well-being and psychological growth.” The animal rights group also said in a statement:
“Young people often acquire animals without considering the impact or consequences, and Justin Bieber likely had no idea that Mally was a baby, taken away from [his] mother at way too young an age. We trust that he’ll do the right thing and pay for Mally to stay in Europe with people who are sensitive to, and familiar with, [his] unique needs.”
Bieber’s got four weeks to fill out paperwork to get the monkey off his back and get the monkey back.
When asked for comment, Mally rolled his eyes and muttered, “This s— is bananas.”