I want to be clear from the outset of this piece that I love massages. If I could afford it I would have a massage every single day of my life! There is nothing quite as luxurious as an hour-long, endorphin-releasing, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin-producing, deep tissue massage.

There is only one other time I feel as relaxed as I do on a massage table and that is when I'm asleep. Wait, nope, not even then.

Back in my gym-rat days (yes, it was a long time ago) I would avail myself of the massage therapists whenever I could.

There was one gentleman there named Rob and honestly to this day I've never had a better massage! The lighting and music was already conducive to relaxation and then this "Sherlock Holmes of Massage" would ask you a few questions; any pain you might be having, areas you wanted him to avoid (like all the metal in my lower spine), areas you wanted him to concentrate on, etc., and he'd go to work.

The last thing he would do when you were already a puddle of relaxed goo (or in my case sound asleep) was ever so gently massage your head and temples. He would then gingerly wake me, tell me to take my time getting up (because you might be dizzy with all those lovely relaxation chemicals swimming through your system) pour me a glass of water and remind me to drink it.

How I miss those amazing massages! But leave it to Jim Gaffigan to make me think about massage in a completely, different and absolutely hilarious way! He is a frequent contributor to CBS Sunday Morning and this week's observational commentary was all about his feelings on massage. I hope you laugh as much as I did!


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