Here is the Letter:


A couple years ago, my prissy cousin had a wedding. I flew all the way across the country to attend and it was dry. As in no booze.

Actually, no dancing and no booze.

The happy couple then had the nerve to leave me and the rest of the guests at 4:00 in the afternoon. Can you imagine?

So, I pretty much flew across the country for a church service and a slice of cake. Nice, right?

Well, I just learned my prissy cousin and her pathetic husband are now getting a divorce.

Needless to say, I’m freaking out here. I can’t shake the memory of getting jacked two years ago. No booze? Seriously?

Anyway, I want my wedding gift back. I think it was a crock pot or something.

I’m going to tell my cousin to give it back, but my girlfriend is trying to talk me out of it.

What do you think?

Personally, I think my girlfriend is wrong and my cousin is lucky I’m not suing her for airfare and hotel.