One Direction heartthrob Harry Styles celebrated his 19th year gracing this earth with his dimples on Feb. 1, and instead of pining over ex Taylor Swift, he got a happy birthday wish from a stripper who apparently thought she was Michelangelo from 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.'

Styles was more amused than aroused by the exotic dancer, who showed up dressed like one of the female cops you see trolling bars on Halloween.

The stripper, apparently not using her tips to pay for schooling, forgot her "truncheon" -- a fancy term for a baton or nightstick -- and instead used nunchucks.

"It was great," Styles told The Sun. "I was in stitches -- it was really funny."

How did it go down?

“Grimmy [Styles' pal, British radio personality Nick Grimshaw] said I had to sit there because he was bringing a cake," Styles revealed. “He started telling everyone to be quiet but I could see the cake in the kitchen and the candles weren't lit, so I was like, ‘What’s going on?’ Then Grimmy said, ‘Someone in here is underage!’ and I saw a police hat bobbing through the crowd. I was like, ‘Oh no!’"

“She stripped down to her underwear but unfortunately there was a no-nudity policy in the bar," Styles griped. “She didn't handcuff me, but the funniest part was that when she finished she said, ‘I’m really sorry. I couldn't find my truncheon so I had to bring my nunchucks.' That was a bit weird."

He added, “The stripper didn't really say anything, she just began her routine. I have never seen my manager run so quick to cover the CCTV cameras but the pictures got out anyway.”

And the pictures show that Hazza is, apparently, an ass man.

Maybe that's why he and T-Swizzle didn't work out.