Stupid Criminals

There was a time when a complaint made to a restaurant owner about the overall quality of the food was met with an ambitious attempt to make things right. However, these days such grievances can get you shot.

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Over the past few weeks, a man in Jacksonville, Florida, spotted someone looking through his windows. It turned out to be 60-year-old James Lowery of Jacksonville, but the man didn't know that or know him

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Changing our name to something completely badass is one of those fantasies us guys have, but we never follow through with it. Why? The women in our lives would kill us.

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Siblings Robert and Amanda Larrivee entered into the women's bathroom of Samuel's Sports Bar in Springfield Massachusetts, with the intention of stealing the restroom's TVs. But the noise they made ripping the units from the walls alerted one of the bar's patrons, and then a bar employee quickly locked the duo in the bathroom and called the police.

Realizing they were trapped, the Larrivees knew they needed to think of a good reason Robert was in the women's bathroom. So when the cops arrived, the brother and sister claimed they had entered the ladies room to have sex.

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If you're going to cook and eat a squirrel, for some inexplicable reason, we can stake with confidence that a blowtorch is not the way to go about doing it.

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There are times when it is necessary for a teenage boy to raid his mother’s panty drawer in an attempt to uncover her secret stash of cash so that he can skim off the top of it to finance any number of pimple-faced necessities including smut rags and the occasional chance at banging a prostitute. Trust us.

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How many officers does it take to photograph the mugshot of an intoxicated suspect?

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Think all nuns lead lives of poverty, chastity and obedience? Think again. In this video, an apparent woman of the cloth is caught stealing drinks from a convenience store. Oh, sister. Better repent right away.

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Some species eat their young. In North Carolina, they just ink them.

Last month, the Havelock Police Department arrested Odessa Clay, 30, for giving her 11-year-old daughter a small, heart-shaped tattoo on her shoulder. Clay now faces one count of tattooing a person under the age of 18 because apparently it is against the law for anyone to tattoo a minor in the state of North Carolina, even if there is parental consent.

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If you're specifically looking to enhance your backside, an herbal product called GluteBoost claims that it can help you out. However, you can count Ellen Vic from North Carolina among its unsatisfied users — the 61 year-old high school teacher didn't know she was ingesting it. Police are investigating a high school student who allegedly spiked Vick's coffee with the supplement.

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