The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
How to Be a ‘Beta Male’ — With Comedian Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail Nanjiani is more than fine with never being the person in charge.
21 Things That Ruined Your Summer Vacation As a Kid
Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.
Stolen ’64 Chevy From ‘Pulp Fiction’ Recovered and Returned in Mint Condition
The cherry red 1964 Chevy made famous in the 1994 classic 'Pulp Fiction' is coming home to owner Quentin Tarantino. The ride was stolen from outside Tarantino's house back in 1995 and was recovered last week after the arrest of a suspected classic car thief.
Any Interest in a $1K Easter Egg? You’re in Luck — Go Here
Ever frequent a restaurant just for the deserts? I'm talking about places more decadent than Friendly's and their Fribble. Sugar and Plumm is that kind of joint. Sure, the food is great too, but the deserts are like an outtake from Willy Wonka's wet dreams...
It’s Hard to Write a ‘Dear Jane’ Letter When Your Hand is Shaking in Fear [Half a Man]
Polly was crazy. I wasn’t positive of this until my father, never one to mince words or use words to speak unkindly about another person, called to say, “Son, I think Polly is crazy.”
Team Allegedly Asks NFL Combine Prospect if He ‘Likes Girls’
A few days ago, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk said on the Dan Patrick Show that teams interested in drafting Manti Te'o were concerned if he was gay. Te'o has publicly said he's not, even if people think he does run like a girl. This information was just one more instance…
Guy Threatens to ‘Shoot Up’ Work ‘Like Newtown’
In the heat of argument, people sometimes say some dumb things. For example, I once got in an disagreement with a coworker and told him that I was going to piss in his coffee. I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say "in his desk drawer" but it was all cleared up the next day…
Courtney Lenz, Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader, Claims She Wasn’t Included on Super Bowl Trip…
Courtney Lenz, a five year veteran of the Baltimore Ravens cheerleading squad, is claiming the team left her off the trip to the Super Bowl because of her "slight weight gain." Oh deer! Sorry, I meant dear. Force of habit with this squad.
Sam Gordon, 9-Year-Old Female Football Phenom, Invited to Super Bowl
Remember Sam Gordon, the 9-year-old female version of Tecmo Bo Jackson? So does NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Her Pee Wee football highlight reel and gaudy season stats got the attention of NFL executives. She was invited to the Super Bowl in New Orleans after hanging out with Goodell at a Giants …
Watch This Intense Giraffe Fight and Never Make Fun of Giraffe Again Because They Would OW…
In this teaser for Discovery channel's upcoming documentary series Africa — which premieres January 8th — two giraffe go absolutely bonkers on one another.