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Are Zucchinis Food, or Part of an Alien Invasion?

Fruit Logistica Agricultural Trade Fair
(Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

I read that Tuesday August, 8 is National Zucchini Day. That means that it’s also the official start of “Hey, Throw These Zucchini Away at Your House for Me Please” season. Yes it’s that time of year when people start bring zucchini into work and trying to make you take them home. So you can then set them on your counter and throw them away in a month.

All this got me thinking, I’ve never seen anyone eat a zucchini. Are they even edible? What are they for? What is going on? What is the grand zucchini?

Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone plant a zucchini. Do they come from gardens? Are they a wild plant? A noxious weed? Where do zucchini originate and why are people trying to get me to take them home?

I think the only answer is that they are not of this planet. I don’t know if they are an egg of some sort, a listening device, or maybe even the alien itself. Who know what life is like out there around the billions and billions of suns.

That brings up another question. Are the people bringing these off-world squash impostors unwitting accomplices in a galactic takeover? Or, are they agents of the Court of the Grand Zucchini. Who, I’m assuming, is the head of the interstellar Zucchinian Domain.

These important questions need answers. Until we know the truth steer clear of the green menace. Don’t fall prey to the pleas of the people distributing those so-called food things. Leave them on the break-room counter. Tell grandam you will not be a part of the Zucchinian invasion of Earth.


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