Butterball has operated a hotline for about 34 years that you can call if you're having a turkey emergency in November or December. It's 1-800-BUTTERBALL.

But along with all the legitimate questions the hotline folks hear plenty of ridiculous ones too.  So some Butterball employees just shared the dumbest questions they've ever heard. Here are 5 of the best:

1.  "How do I roast my turkey so it gets golden brown tan lines in the shape of a bikini."  The recommendation was strategically using foil.

2.  "Why doesn't my turkey have any breast meat?"  It turned out the turkey was upside-down.

3.  "How much will my turkey expand when it cooks."  The answer is not at all.

4.  "I won my turkey at a casino, and it thawed on my lap while I rode the bus home.  Can I eat it?"  They didn't recommend eating it after it thawed in warm temperatures.

5.  "I carved my turkey with a chainsaw.  Is the chain grease going to adversely affect my turkey?"  The answer is yes, don't serve it or it might KILL someone.

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